Teller plõksib

Mil Millington, kellest olen varem korduvalt kirjutanud, saadab ülilõbusat kuukirja laiali. Tänasest tarkusetera, et mis on naiste ja meeste vahe.

Here it is: the difference between men and women - its distilled essence, in 328 words.

I’ve got this friend. For the sake of discretion, let’s call her Emma, and her partner can be Juan. And let’s say they live in, oh - Penzance; rather than where they actually live - which is North London. So, my friend tells a story of the moment when, after five years together, she finally knew that it was over. Juan’s formerly near-constant sexual desire for her was now far less frequent, and far more moderated by the television schedules. It was almost as though their sex life had to be vetted by TV Choice.

So, she secretly does a striptease course. She trains herself in the Art of the Thong, gets an outfit, and then glides into the room one evening while he’s sitting there watching BBC 2.

She begins.

He glances at her absently. At last - when she’s wearing nothing but an exasperated expression and a couple of tassels - she says, “Well?”

“What?” he asks.

“What do you mean, ‘What?’? I’m here. You’re in, mate. I can’t really make it more obvious than this.”

“Oh, right… Can’t you wait a bit? I’m watching Star Trek.”

“What the f-… I… Hold on ­ you’ve seen this episode anyway! It’s a repeat, for God’s sake!”

“Well… yeah. But it’s one of my favourites,” Juan replies.

And she’s left standing there: embarrassingly bestripped.

An illuminating snapshot of many a relationship five years in. But that’s not my point. My point is that I’ve heard her tell that story many times. If a woman is listening, then that woman will immediately say, “God ­ that’s awful. How terrible for you,” or, “Oh, Emma. Your self-esteem must have been destroyed. You poor thing.”

But, if it’s a man there, what is his instant, instinctive reply? Well (for the women reading this ­ the men have the words fidgeting in their heads already), it’s always the same thing:

“Hmmm… so - what episode was it?”

That is the difference between men and women.

You may return to your work now.

Ütleme nii, et kuigi ma Star Trekist midagi ei tea, siis mul tekkis kah huvi teada saada, et mis osa see siis oli :)